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Thank goodness he did or I might have ended up content, but not really happy, or breaking up two years later. More importantly though, thank you universe for the wake up call. Here's a little reminder of what is important for me (my dealbreakers) for the next time I meet a guy I might like. Oh, and please feel free to kick me in the butt if you see me drifting off track again.
1. Attraction. I want to be thinking about him and really wanting to kiss him.
2. Personality. I want him to be flexible, have his own hobbies, be willing to try things I like, non-judgmental, somewhat liberal, creative, ambitious, intelligent, non-pretentious.
3. Readiness for the Ridiculousness that is Rita. I don't want games. I want to be able to call. I want a guy who is drawn to that, attracted to me, gets my sarcasm, is easy going, can laugh it off, and goes out of his way to do little things to show he cares.
Am I asking too much? Hopefully not. Because these are non-negotiable.
And in the 'metime'- I'll work on toning it down a little. Maybe easing him into the magical mystery tour of my being isn't such a bad idea. Ending things proactively when I know they aren't right is a pretty great commitment to make. My little present to myself. Happy belated Valentines, darling.
Amen, sister. I was also recently reminded about the "forcing something" because you want it or think it's what you want at the time. Or like me, forcing it because its been going on for so long and you have a hard time "quitting" or "giving up" on anything...especially when its not necessarily bad (it's just not oh-my-god amazing!). Luckily, he was smarter than me and saw that it wasn't a good thing, or that I wasn't into it the way I should. Or maybe he was just a jerk like a lot of men out there. Whatever the reasons, it left me to myself to realize that I had lost myself in all of it (again) and lost the "ME focus" and the "ME time". Luckily, I'm back on track. And it sounds like you are, too. Here's to having each other's back and not letting us lose sight of our desires and/or self again...and that oh-my-god amazing guy. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know you yet Erin - but I really like the things you have to say! It's entirely too easy to loose your connection with the world when you're investing so much in connecting with that special someone. It better be pretty darn amazing to be worth playing the balance game!
ReplyDeleteThree cheers to choosing to be alone over being with a sort of okay- not quite great guy!