A little rejection goes a long way

I lost focus in the scarce hours remaining from my demanding job and my exploration of a potential new relationship. The me time... remembering what is important to me and pursuing it... got complicated. I transformed it into forcing something not right for me into something I really wanted. Thank goodness for rejection. Remember the "I am not a prostitute guy"? Well, I started to talk myself into liking him. There were signs this wasn't the right decision: I didn't kiss him through four dates, little things he did annoyed me (like the way he laughed and the things he chose to laugh at), that I was describing him as not my typical type but so nice. I just wanted it to work. The timing seemed ideal and he really is a very nice guy. I almost settled. Instead, I pushed him away until he yelled uncle.

Thank goodness he did or I might have ended up content, but not really happy, or breaking up two years later. More importantly though, thank you universe for the wake up call. Here's a little reminder of what is important for me (my dealbreakers) for the next time I meet a guy I might like. Oh, and please feel free to kick me in the butt if you see me drifting off track again.

1. Attraction. I want to be thinking about him and really wanting to kiss him.

2. Personality. I want him to be flexible, have his own hobbies, be willing to try things I like, non-judgmental, somewhat liberal, creative, ambitious, intelligent, non-pretentious.

3. Readiness for the Ridiculousness that is Rita. I don't want games. I want to be able to call. I want a guy who is drawn to that, attracted to me, gets my sarcasm, is easy going, can laugh it off, and goes out of his way to do little things to show he cares.

Am I asking too much? Hopefully not. Because these are non-negotiable.

And in the 'metime'- I'll work on toning it down a little. Maybe easing him into the magical mystery tour of my being isn't such a bad idea. Ending things proactively when I know they aren't right is a pretty great commitment to make. My little present to myself. Happy belated Valentines, darling.