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So last week my treat to myself was saying no. I had carved out some time to work on a painting - and this is not such a simple thing to do. I was home with my family and surrounded by people I love, of course it's tempting to do things other than paint. Being with family and friends comes an easy sense of obligation or responsibility for me...perhaps I'm a natural care taker.
Anyways - this day in particular when my name was called from the kitchen to do an unknown favor or to be asked an unknown question - I simply responded with No. As in No I'm not here - No I'm not available - No to any other obligations - this was Me-time.
Perhaps it was a rude response - but honestly it was very liberating.
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Part of our philosophy has to incorporate saying no. In particular, I need to focus on this in my work life to some extent. But the counter side of that is that for everything we decline, I think we must look as it as an opportunity to accept (as you did in this situation, by making room for your art).
ReplyDeleteMy inclination is to sleep after a long day of work. I am frequently invited to exciting events but decline because another obligation, regardless of how fun it is, can be too much to bear. This year, I am focused on committing to doing more things that bring opportunity. I feel as though I've lived more in the past month than I did in the past year. Although exhausted, I am refreshed.
I love to hear that Ritz! I was talking to a friend the other day ( a guy) who was saying it's much easier for him to say no to things than to say yes... surprising little turn on how most women approach requests.
ReplyDeleteWhether for fun or work - it's difficult but Important to trust your gut and say it loud and proud - NO!
On a note on the difference between women and men, I don't know if I have ever recommended the book Women Don't Ask (http://www.amazon.com/Women-Dont-Ask-Negotiation-Gender/dp/069108940X) to you I think you would very much enjoy
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