I'll trade ya -

Oh Rita! I'm so happy you're finding your escape in some messy mud/clay and discovering the silly walls that we set up around ourselves (the ones that need to be torn down). I haven't been indulging in my art/yoga time lately and I need to get back in that swing... it has an effect on me if I stay away for too long!

But in my fun little social experiment of internet dating - I think I had my most successful one yet. Not because of the sparks and fireworks that bounced off the stars but because it was simply a nice hour spent. We had a trade, I bought him a cup of fancy coffee and he fixed the tire on my bicycle. He owns a bike shop and is super savvy with that stuff and didn't mind helping me out... felt like a nice exchange for me. I don't know if I'll see him again or not. Honestly the fact that he hasn't followed up with a email/call/text makes me like him more than I would have otherwise - is that sick?

There's such a power game you play when you date guys - you want to feel like your feelings can dictate the direction of things to a certain degree. I don't want to fall into a situation where I'm with someone just b/c he's super into me but I haven't had time to process the way I feel about him. Does this make sense? It's like I want to be pursued just as much as I am pursuing... in search of the perfect amount of balance where we like each other the same amount. At the least he deserves a second shot - who knows how I'll feel then.

Onward and upward to the next social experiment!

Awareness and Perception

The 'me time' has been consumed by 'work time' this week, despite my best efforts. I did make it to see Ani DiFranco in concert (2nd row seats) but spent far too much time responding to work e-mails on my blackberry . I let a unique experience slip into the background to deal with issues that probably could have waited. And at the end, I realized this and really focused in and was amazed by her talent, passion, and ability to translate experiences into music. It was a set-back, but I am on track again now.

Speaking of getting on the right track- so Ms. Tirzah- you are diving into on-line dating? I completely relate to your assessment as to accepting this as a non-freak thing to do. A psychologist should do a study of the stages towards acceptance of this new means of meeting a mate. The vast majority of our time is spent communicating remotely rather than personally so on-line dating as an extension of that norm has certainly become more natural despite our urges to deny this.

While I have many experiences I could share here and insights, there is one in particular I think it would have helped me to have known when I was diving in. While much of online dating is 'different' to 'real world dating', perhaps the most profound yet intangible shift to me was that the tone of the meeting has already been set. The 'I just met a great guy but don't think I'd like to date him but do want to be friends' transition is more difficult to achieve because there is a presumption that you are in it for romance (or something kind of like it... hm... hm).

I was left wanting to create a service that connected people to new friends with no expectation of romance. Not a meetup.com group, but a friend match-up that is more personal and allows screening. Because at the end of the day, when I was gravitating toward online dating, it really was because I had a lack of single friends in my life who inspired me to leave my house and seize the city. There are times that I want to explore new things, be it exercise, travel, book clubs, cooking, etc. Some of these fit my current friends' interests and availability while others do not. I'd love to be able to interview new friends in the same way we interview these on-line dates. Hey, if the greek system works, why not this?

Enjoy the experience. Be open to it. And most importantly, don't let yourself ask 'I wonder what is wrong with him that he is online'...

Slices of goodness

Ah - Rita - I feel you on the need to squeeze in the MEtime into little windows in between the to-do list. I'm taking more classes than I'm used to this semester and have taken on quite a few big projects so it makes for a full juggling act throughout the day.

I have had slices of MEtime in between studying and projects the past few days... the slices include a yoga class, having some frozen chocolate chips, reading some literotica stories, taking a nap and geeking out with a newly discovered online dating site.

Weird how you can have it in your head that internet dating is disconnected from the real-world and a statement about the lack of human to human connections - and then - flip you can be inspired to change your mind. Thanks to the recommendation of a good friend I have flipped that switch. I bit the bullet and signed up - not thinking much of it. And then I got lots of messages and responses from interesting people in Pittsburgh that I would have never met otherwise. Maybe I should hold my judgment until after I've met people face to face and decide they're not total creeps - but for now it's fun!

I plan on meeting people and hanging out with interesting folks on my terms and becoming more comfortable with letting guys go when the chemistry just isn't there. May the adventure begin!