The Friendship Date

I love open communication - but sometimes I worry that it scares people away. Maybe this is silly.

Recently, before going out on a first date with a guy, I sent him a note saying that I'd like to approach the evening as a 'friendship date'. In order to minimize the awkwardness that often follows blind dates, I wanted to pretend that we were testing each other out as friends and then if we liked some level of friendliness then it could evolve. He reacted to my note in a nonchalant way with something along the lines of "sure sounds good - whatever." This response left me wondering - well he must think I'm already pushing him away before I've even met him - oh well.

We had a nice enough evening where he really respected my space and boundaries, spent a long time walking around the city talking about life and social issues. All in all a pleasant evening but not spectacularly fun - the lack of laughs was a disappointment but other than that - a great night.

Then no call or email. So I decide to pull the forward communication card again and tell him that on the date-scale of friendship to 'more than friends' I'm somewhere in the middle and asked where he stands. Surprisingly he had the straight forward answer of yeah me too - - placating? I'm not sure. Even though this will not likely lead to a great adventure in love, it's great to know that I can say what I want and ask my curious questions and sometimes get exactly what I'm looking for.

Killing the awkwardness of blind dates with experiments in friendship was a great idea - perhaps a tool to be used in the future.

Stimulation abroad

Interestingly enough, I feel so connected to myself and indulgent right now despite having no personal time left.   I'm learning again!  Not only is my job presenting new challenges and exposing me to new subjects, but my environment is changing and I am studying British culture (I mean, check out the video for the great things that come from this country) with the same intensity.   It feels great to spend my spare time engrossed in books and outlining projects.  I'm exhilarated during work with figuring out the processes abroad.  I'm delightfully anxious prior to meetings and investing time getting ready.  The stimulation is dizzying but entirely gratifying.  I'm learning to be in the moment and make the most of it.  I've thought of the me time as separate breaks in the past but am realizing now that it can be completely integrated into the day-to-day with the right perspective. Ah- nearing a new decade is making me all the more wise!

Part Time Peace

What a whirlwind of change! Congrats shout out to Rita for being awesome and embracing this big move to the UK!

I just finished my graduate degree and am trying to embrace the complete unknown that sits before me. I spent a month celebrating my family and friends by traveling home and beyond then went wedding hopping two weekends in a row. Looking back on this time I know it was time well spent and a great reminder of all of the love in my life.

Now I have the space for reality to settle in. The real gravity of unemployment is here and now it's time to figure out how I will apply my time and skills to projects/jobs I care about. I expect this to be a period of being under-valued/underpaid until I find the right kind of lucrative job.

Surprisingly I'm really happy as a volunteer grant writer and project coordinator in the part time. I have the time to stay healthy and play in the summer sun. It'll be a short period of underpaid-bliss but for now it's great and I'm at peace with ME.

It's one big balance game when you really look at it. You have to decide which things you're willing to give up your freetime for and what you're willing to do to pay the bills... it all evens out in the end.

Cheerio

I've been suppressing the urge to write until I officially was able to announce my big news... no, I am NOT pregnant as my coworker suspected (but yes, I will be dieting tomorrow). Rather, I am making a move across the ocean to LONDON for 6 months for my job! While I suspect it will be challenging from a work perspective, I am craving that and the change it presents (both at a professional and personal level). There is a little anxiety about repeating old patterns of moving and not settling down but the temporary nature of this secondment has led me to say yes. How's that for embracing change in 2010?

Expect more blog posts in the upcoming weeks as I attempt to demystify the process of moving to a place I've only been for 24 hours in the past. What an adventure!